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ALWAYS WAXING & WANING

Cancer Full Moon in Empress: Let it flow

12/25/2015

 
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Deer Sweet Ones,
Let it flow.  ​The tears.  The fear.  The gratitude.  The long nights & the longer days.  The disappointment.  The hope.  The remembering.  Let it flow.
 
I once was in love where the first rule of this queership was “Don’t fall in love.”  Sure, I thought.  I wasn’t looking for anything love related.  The sex was great when the nights were cold, & we both had stamina & the mouths of poets.  To expect anything but love was foolish, that is very clear to me now, but in my fool hardy ways, I agreed.  No love here.
 
Four months later I found that I was in a furious race between myself & myself, specifically Lettie the Builder & Lettie the Pourer.  Lettie the Builder was busy building a dam, night & day, to keep the love feelings at bay, to keep them contained, to try & keep shit neat & tidy.  & Lettie the Pourer was my heart, steady pouring love & adoration into the vessels of body & bedroom walls, concerned only with going there.  The day I realized Lettie the Builder was going to lose I broke down & cried.  “I love her,” I sobbed to my sister in her car.  “Of course you do,” my sister replied.
 
Of course.  I do.
 
Lettie the Builder never had a chance against Lettie the Pourer.  I imagine Lettie the Builder telling myself, “Look at that tiny jug of water they’re pouring from!  My dam building skills are more than adequate!”  & Lettie the Pourer was like, “Hey!  How are you?  Can I tell you about all the things?  Because OMG!” & while, yes, that jug was seemingly small, the volume it carries is limitless. 
 
The day the dam burst, I felt a kind of relief.  Lettie the Builder could finally rest, surrender to the waters that overcame our best efforts & intentions.  We could finally let it flow.  The disappointment of failing to house such a force of nature.  The fear of losing someone I had come to love deeper than that damn dam.  The gratitude for such a wild ride.  The tears. 
 
Let it flow. 
 
Let your damn dam break.  Give your Builder a much needed break & surrender to the Pourer.  Instead of bracing for that first break of wave, take a deep breath & remind yourself you totally know how to float on your back.  Your Pourer cannot disappoint.

Take care of your heart during this season of hard feelings & body memories & wishing things were different.  I'm doing my best to take care of mine, too.

Unendingly Abundant,
Lettie

If you’d like to make an important donation to support this valuable work, you can donate to my Paypal at lettie.laughter@gmail.com.  I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & healing channeling today in the form of this post.  Your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference!  
Thank you so much!  

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This week's reading is based on the upcoming Full Moon in Cancer.  My Sun in in Cancer, I understand.  Sometimes I get tired & overwhelmed at my own feelings, but these unending waters have shaped me into the femme, mamma, friend, lover, healer, death eater that I am today.  I have been tempered by my own tears, & that is it's own special super power.  What I really wanna say is, Welcome to the world of feels!  Will you be here long?  I have so thoroughly enjoyed your company.  Is there anything I can do to help make things more comfortable?  Maybe this tarot reading can help.

Past & Present:
​The Empress* & Lepidolite**


When I say "Past & Present" what I am referring to is recent past, like the last week, & present as in today & the last few days.  Although, it is common for themes to be woven through the trip we call linear time.

Lepidolite wants to remind you that you are your first priority & that the time is right for you to open up the doors & start communing with your Ancestors or Spirit Guides.  If your intuition has been nudging you in this direction, this is your sign!

& the Empress is shining bright in the position of now because the Femmeiverse wants you to begin nourishing yourself with that Femmeiversal Mothering energy.  Flex some of that spiritual muscle in your own name, in your own image, & be open to receiving deep emotional healing & to letting the flow of your creativity swell over the banks.
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*The Empress is from the Wild Unknown tarot deck **Lepidolite is from Visions: a crystal oracle deck ​

First on your horizon:
Artist of Keys


What's coming up first on the horizon of your life?  Artist of Keys, & it kinda looks like The Pourer (not a coincidence), & is about reciprocity (also not a coincidence).

When this card comes up in a reading, it is a sign of making offerings to connect with self, the spiritual realm, the Femmeiverse.  Artist of Keys wants you to know that the offerings that you've been making have been seen & received, & now it is your turn to open up & receive what you need in unexpected way.

This card can also be a friendly nudging elbow to make those offerings to water.  Take your asks, prayers, written things, or maybe even hair, & find some way to release it to water, whether that's an ocean, a river, a pond, or setting it in a bowl of water in your bedroom.  You don't have to hold & carry this all by yourself.  Let your Ancestors & Guides help.
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The challenge &
​how to navigate it:
Intermission & Two of Feathers


Intermission, the Hanged Man, is in the position of  representing the challenge for this week, & Two of Feathers is gonna make suggestions for how to navigate.

Intermission is the card that reflects back that stuck feeling, but more importantly, is here to remind you of that skeleton key (symbol for ancestral wisdom) you swallowed to get through this particular predicament.  Take a deep breath, surrender to this moment, & allow that key to make its way out of your body.  

Two of Feathers wants to remind you of the splendid promises you made to yourself while upside down.  "If you get me out of this, I promise I'll finally _________, like we've always wanted!"  Now that you're out, make sure you are held accountable to your new butterfly self.  As a butterfly, you cannot hang out in the spots you did as a caterpillar, ok?  This is one of the  things Lepidolite was referring to.
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Spiritual Matters:
​Ace of Keys


The position of this card is in the realm of spiritual & emotional matters, & can refer to dreams, intuition, & feelings.

​Ace of Keys wants you to know the same skeleton key you swallowed & used to get right side up can also be used here to unlock some of your spiritual gifts.  

Don't be afraid that this treasure chest appears as though it is bursting with flames, these are the fires that are meant to temper you for what is yet to come.  The initial poof! can be referring to a recent a spike in the accuracy of  your intuition or dream recall.  This is no fluke.  

You are allowed to be an active participant in the development of your psychic skills.  This whole process is preparing you to go here!
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Ancestral post-its:
​Six of Feathers


Imagine that your Ancestors & Guides came to your place for a sleepover, & they had to wake up & go to work before you did, but before they left they wrote some notes for you on some post-its & stuck them next to your door so you could read them before you left the house.  That's what this card is.

Six of Feathers is all about trust & faith.  That spike of psychic activity that Ace of Keys was alluding to brought you here.  I like to imagine that the person in the card had a vision of where to be, but maybe it was too far to feel possible.  Then one day their intuition was like, "Make some wings."  & so they did.  They constructed wings as best they could, & had many moments of doubt, afraid their wings could never hold or carry them.  I'm sure they gave up a few times, but without fail, their intuition was like, "Keep going.  Trust me!"  & they did.  They trusted themselves until the wings were done, & they trusted themselves to some spot out in the middle of nowhere, wondering how the fuck this was all supposed to work.  Then a gust of wind started up, & a flock of birds stronger than they had ever known showed up, & up they went!

This card wants you to do your part.  You & your efforts are enough.  Those birds are Spirit, the Femmeiverse, your Beloved Community, the ones who love you back, & they will show up to help carry you where your heart wants to be.  You can totally acknowledge the doubt through out this process, just make sure to deliberately choose your own power & your own vision.
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​Lettie Laughter has over 10 years experience reading tarot.  To book your own magical 60 or 90 minute tarot reading with them, go here!  There are specials offered until the end of December.

You can also take a one-on-one tarot class using tarot decks from Collective Tarot, the Unknown, & the Fountain with Lettie.  Each 90 minute class is tailored just for you, & be accessed in Philly or over the internet!  For more information on how to save your spot in this first time ever opportunity, go here.  ​

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    Photo by Wit López, 2016.


    ​Dacia Holliday

    is a chronically ill queer indigenous femme, community healer, poet, playwright, & performer extraordinaire.  They live, love, femmeifest, & write in the desert.

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