Deer Sweet Ones, Let it flow. The tears. The fear. The gratitude. The long nights & the longer days. The disappointment. The hope. The remembering. Let it flow. I once was in love where the first rule of this queership was “Don’t fall in love.” Sure, I thought. I wasn’t looking for anything love related. The sex was great when the nights were cold, & we both had stamina & the mouths of poets. To expect anything but love was foolish, that is very clear to me now, but in my fool hardy ways, I agreed. No love here. Four months later I found that I was in a furious race between myself & myself, specifically Lettie the Builder & Lettie the Pourer. Lettie the Builder was busy building a dam, night & day, to keep the love feelings at bay, to keep them contained, to try & keep shit neat & tidy. & Lettie the Pourer was my heart, steady pouring love & adoration into the vessels of body & bedroom walls, concerned only with going there. The day I realized Lettie the Builder was going to lose I broke down & cried. “I love her,” I sobbed to my sister in her car. “Of course you do,” my sister replied. Of course. I do. Lettie the Builder never had a chance against Lettie the Pourer. I imagine Lettie the Builder telling myself, “Look at that tiny jug of water they’re pouring from! My dam building skills are more than adequate!” & Lettie the Pourer was like, “Hey! How are you? Can I tell you about all the things? Because OMG!” & while, yes, that jug was seemingly small, the volume it carries is limitless. The day the dam burst, I felt a kind of relief. Lettie the Builder could finally rest, surrender to the waters that overcame our best efforts & intentions. We could finally let it flow. The disappointment of failing to house such a force of nature. The fear of losing someone I had come to love deeper than that damn dam. The gratitude for such a wild ride. The tears. Let it flow. Let your damn dam break. Give your Builder a much needed break & surrender to the Pourer. Instead of bracing for that first break of wave, take a deep breath & remind yourself you totally know how to float on your back. Your Pourer cannot disappoint. Take care of your heart during this season of hard feelings & body memories & wishing things were different. I'm doing my best to take care of mine, too. Unendingly Abundant, Lettie If you’d like to make an important donation to support this valuable work, you can donate to my Paypal at [email protected]. I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & healing channeling today in the form of this post. Your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference! Thank you so much! This week's reading is based on the upcoming Full Moon in Cancer. My Sun in in Cancer, I understand. Sometimes I get tired & overwhelmed at my own feelings, but these unending waters have shaped me into the femme, mamma, friend, lover, healer, death eater that I am today. I have been tempered by my own tears, & that is it's own special super power. What I really wanna say is, Welcome to the world of feels! Will you be here long? I have so thoroughly enjoyed your company. Is there anything I can do to help make things more comfortable? Maybe this tarot reading can help.
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