Week of Fight, Rest, & Hope: December 2-8

​Deer Sweet One,
This year has kicked my ass.  I don’t know what makes this year particularly terrible, but it feels that way.  I am surviving my mother, healing terrible, painful familial shit with my kid, the most intense suicidal ideation in years, starting (& kinda hating) a new therapy & therapist, asking for more support, & remembering how much I love to write, & how fucking important it is to me.

​I know you’ve been wrung out & just want a fresh start.  I also know that you’ve grown more than you think you have.  That you’ve performed miracles & made the impossible possible.

Here’s hoping the reading offers you fight, rest, & hope when you need it most.

​xo
Dacia

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♡  ​​
I’d really love to collectively receive $50-$100 for the healing work channeled for this offering.  Please support femme labor & practice reciprocity by contributing through Venmo, Squarecash, or Paypal (only if necessary, like if you're in Canada, cuz PP fucks over sex workers) .  You can also book your own readings here!  Your support means I can do things like pay bills, buy food, & even take myself to the movies!  ​& I don't wanna come off as rude, but if you think / assume "somebody else" is taking care of this, settling up on this community invoice, you're wrong.  The most I've received is
$15 one week, & nothing has come through for the past two.  Not trying to be fucked up or entitled, just totally naming a thing.
Thanks so much for witnessing, loving, & growing!
♡  ​​​

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SPIRIT:

​theme of the week & influences all elements.
​

This is the week you wake up, where you notice how you’ve been unwittingly keeping yourself in line to be milked & eaten.  Those signs & gut feelings that pipe up when you’re at work, school, that community organizing meeting, when you come home--those are tugs from your future ancestral self telling you it is time to go.  It is not your destiny to be picked clean by others who have been entrusted with power, & just cuz institutions or work place heirarchies or communities or family members are playing this losing game, it doesn’t mean you have to.  Whenever anyone (those above mentioned & yourself included) questioned “how things work around here,” you were all fed the same li(n)es. Call it policy, call it codes of conduct, call it keeping the peace, call it whatever the fuck you want, it’s all bullshit!  

Luckily, that brave bird in the upper right hand corner of SEVEN of FEATHERS is YOU getting your sweet ass outta that Trainyard Mess.  “Fuck it,” you said, “Anything’s better than this.” & it’s true, a better place, a better world exists! You’ll find it. All you gotta do is believe that you can.

EARTH:

routines of pleasure & purpose.
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TWO of BOTTLES wants to show you how much havoc that Trainyard Mess was creating in your life by reminding you of your divine aptitude for good shit.  This card is about romancing yourself, doting on your every whim. Give in to your desire to plan your time, clearing out whole chunks of your day to do what brings you  peace & clarity. Write about things that the Trainyard Mess brought up for you, write the truth & how much it sucks that you were hurt, & then rewrite the alternate ending you’ve always deserved.  Recommit to your own pleasure, to what makes you smile, to integrating meals & drinks you love into your every day routine. Or maybe it’s a phone call you’ve been avoiding cuz that tape in your head on loop says everyone hates you, especially so-&-so.  These are the ways you can create the world you wanna live in, the one that kept flashing through your mind every time you forced yourself to choke down the politics of the Trainyard Mess.  Dive beneath the layers of stories that hurt, pull your tender self to the surface, & take a deep breath.  You are here. Live like it.

AIR:

communicating with yourself.
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These are affirmations to replace the Loop of Doom in your head so you can keep flying, & get where you wanna go!

• I deserve to feel safe.
• I am open to the many ways the Femmeiverse supports me.
• I can achieve anything, especially if I’ve never done it before!
• I am excited to prioritize my new boundaries.
• I release any guilt I have for making choices different from the ones I love.
• I trust that I am increasingly responsible & accountable with my privileges & access to resources.

Come up with more of your own & let these personalized incantations be the wind beneath your wings!

FIRE:

releasing impurities to forge a new self.
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Just because you left the Trainyard Mess does not mean you are completely done with it.  You’re still gonna need time to purge & heal all the shit you internalized during the time you were there, which ultimately leads you to some of your roots & their wounds.  Wounds have a beauty, a magic, an intelligence that can orchestrate their own healing. They will send signs & messengers, but the stronger your denial the stronger the wake-up call needs to be, hence all the little decisions that landed you in the Trainyard Mess!

So, FOUR of BOTTLES is this week’s simple sign to follow those tender trails back to your wounds so you can clean them out & let them heal.  For example, you can allow yourself to cry as much & as long as you want; spend time with mementos & other memorabilia that house feelings you “try not to think about;" pray that your heart be shown new perspectives & insights, or create a family tree that illustrates the things you’re trying to heal & ask your ancestors to help you with this mission.  Whatever you do, make sure to trust the wisdom of your wounds.  They wanna bring you more than pain or suffering.

WATER:

inner life / self reflection.
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You, your spirit guides & ancestors, & the Femmeiverse are allowed to pick your bones clean.  You are now in the sacred role of witness for yourself.  APPRENTICE of BONES is beckoning you to break through your surface & seek out your bones so you can begin to understand the whole of who you are!  These bones represent your beliefs about life, love, success, values, boundaries, desires, intergenerational trauma, inherited powers, etc., & one by one you’re gonna hold them, talk with them, find out if they even belong to you, grieve & mend them if they’re broken, & grow ones you’re missing.  This is the only way, love. I know it is hard & it’ll take time, so be gentle.  There is no rush. This is a gift only you can give yourself, so be generous.

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CONNECT WITH YOUR ANCESTORS
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Dacia is a Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon, Aquarius Rising who's been reading tarot for the past 10+ years.  She uses the Collective Tarot to channel messages of healing, comfort, clarity, & confirmation from your guides & ancestors. Tarot readings happen over the phone or internet, so book your reading today!

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