i am falling in love with ones who are also falling in love with me.
i attract the most compatible femmes this femmeiverse has to offer. i am always whole, intact, & loud. i feel loved & adored. i receive love letters & crush art from ones i am also sending love letters & crush art to. my vulnerability is my compass. i am dating folks who have done their work, who are doing their work, & who are continuing to do their work. i know i am crushing out on cuties who are also crushing out on me. i hold myself as center. i release everyone & everything that does not celebrate me as perfect & necessary. i move with confidence & joy in the direction of myself, my dreams, my desires, & my being. i feel desired in ways that empower & heal me. i fall in love with sweeties who want all that i want to give. my ancestors bring me relationships with babes who are ready for what is coming next in my life. my self-awareness, self-love, & femmetastic selfies are reflected back to me in my –ships. i experience sustainability. i experience excitement. i experience great communication & consideration. i am having the dirtiest, sweetest adventure this femmeiverse has ever witnessed. *Inspired by Badass Resilience: Black and Brown Femme Survivor Love and Desire Affirmations By Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha and Keisha Williams. You can read more about when I was first introduced to this life saving work by these femmes here.
I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & the healing channeled today in the form of this post. Please support femme labor, your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference! My Paypal is [email protected]. Your donations do things like help me buy food & pay for transit token, so thank you so much!
Vulnerability As My Compass: Affirmations for Bringing Springtime Back to the Body is a project centering my process of trusting my vulnerability & following its instructional nudges to the best of my ability so I can bring life & warmth back to my body. As a queer brown femme with chronic illnesses trying to work out my scarcity & poverty shit with a baby panda femme along for this wild ride called My Life, processing all the grief has left me a little more than overwhelmed & in need of fresh life for a while now. I carry & process so much grief, thanks in part to all the Pluto in my birth chart, that it feels like death eating is all I ever do & all I’ll ever be good at. But a few years ago I realized that I can death eat with the purpose of bringing life, bringing springtime back to my blessed & holy body. I know a lot of my purpose here is to mend the loose ends & call people home within my own lineage, but part of my work is to bring warmth, joy, pleasure back to the body. I can’t do anything for anyone else, per se, but I can do it for myself & share my process. That’s kinda what this is.
When I think about Springtime in the Body, I imagine checking in with seeds I planted to make sure they’ll sprout, & then getting nervous that they won’t & wondering what I did wrong, so I pray & ask for miracles & try to keep up my end of things, & then just when I’ve given up, the little plant pops through, like, “What? You thought I wouldn’t come? But you planted me yourself, & loved me yourself! How could I not pull through?” It feels kinda like the weather now in Philly, where everyday I come home from work I am so grateful that the sky is still lit up with the sunset because I remember how the stars used to be out & how cold some of those nights were while waiting for the bus. Spring, that time where hope is everywhere, is coming. Maybe when we turn around, it’ll be here already. It has taken me years to get here, to this point of trusting in myself, my life, the Femmeiverse, where I can share all of this with you. I don't know why now, but I know that putting this series together was all I could think of for the past two days, so much so that I stayed up past 3am yestermorning, & woke up at 4 this morning. & while I was at my day job yesterday, & upon waking & lying in my bed this morning, all I could ponder was, "What is going to accompany such a wish? Such a declaration? Is a something even needed?" But I can't imagine not saying something. So here I am, saying something. Reading over my affirmations I recognize that I wrote it about my romantic life, or what I hope can be my romantic life, & that there are other deeper threads of claiming myself & my desires. Desires exist in all the places in my life, & following their lead is always such a struggle, but I am here to surrender my way through. I am 32-years-old, & I've largely spent my life pretending I do not want anything, or that thing I had wasn't that important, & on & on the minimizations go. I want to remember back to now & smile & say, "Thank you Past Lettie for trusting me," & use it as evidence that I do get to have what I want, that these desires won't live & die inside a body riddled with an endless winter. I have too much water happening to be playing with a season like Winter like that. It is all too possible. I wanna use all this water for nourishing & gently shaping & playing & soaking. It is scary to have my desires laid bare, but I have to tell you more than afraid, I am hopeful. I don't know if you remember my post Leo Full Moon in the Victory of Your Own Making, but I gotta share with you that some of that brave shit I asked for has come to pass or is coming to pass very soon. To ask for what I want, to choose some kind of alternative to the scarcity that has woven its way into my every breath, is like breaking a curse. In stories where seemingly unbreakable curses are cast, love seems to be the only force powerful enough to dissolve it. I think that's what this is, Deer One. This is me casting a love spell of sorts to break the curses that've shaped so much of my life. I want more love. I deserve more love. I am receiving more love. I am committing (yikes!) to a series based on these affirmations as love spells for myself, & I would love it if you wanted to journey along with me! I'll be posting more day to day things on my facebook, instagram, twitter, & tumblr accounts, & will write more at length here on my blog. I'm gonna be marking my way through with #vulnerabilityasmycompass, & if you have anything you wanna share or add to the conversation, please tag me or use #highmoonfemme & #vulnerabilityasmycompass. I would love the company! So many blessings & deep freeze thaws & signs from the Femmeiverse to you, to me, to us!
I'm so happy & excited that so many of you are sharing & reading the work I am creating! I'd also really like to receive some $$ if you got it! Know that $5 goes real far in my life.
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Photo by Wit López, 2016.
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