Deer Sweet One.
 
How are your feels?  Is sleep bringing you much needed respite   Are these big changes moving things about inside of you, too? 
 
I don’t know what last week was about, but it was hard.  & I totally meant to have this out sooner, but I ended up working extra hours, had to figure out how to extra navigate getting Panda Pie to & from school, had a breakdown/break through in therapy, was thoroughly exhausted by feeling all the feelings, on a whim packed up Panda & myself & visited the river & had burgers, ran into a friend while waiting for the el, & made the call to do things on the equinox rather than write about things.  I went on my second house call here in Philly, got to visit a new part of the city, & sat down to read & channel some tarot.  It was lovely, I gotta tell you.  There was laughter & tears & stories galore! & then I came home & dressed some candles & ate a delicious dinner my roommate cooked.  It was a full day, & I was exhausted in that surrender kinda way.
 
& then Panda Pie got sick & I went grocery shopping yesterday & spent the rest of my daylight hours applying for a fellowship.  OMG.  The Feels.  I’ve been thinking on that application for almost a month, & the whole time it was a battle of wills!  “You can’t do this!  You’re work isn’t worthy of such funding!” vs. “You are valuable!  You get to ask for support!  Even if we don’t get it, good things can happen!”  With one minute to spare, the latter won out.  Once I hit send, I was overcome with a feeling akin to grief, which is not what I was expecting.  My roommate said I looked like I had just witnessed a car crash, which, yeah, I kinda did.  All those nay saying voices in my head just shut the fuck up.  Even if my application betrayed my newness to such things, or maybe it just wasn’t up to standard, I did it.  & I will do it again.  Friends, I have entered a new era or being alive & calling good shit into my life.  I hope this explanation, these words, make sense in some kinda way.

I woke up this morning, after another night of really intense dreams, & felt like all the pieces I had been waiting for finally settled, put Portishead on repeat, & set to writing.  The spread brought to you today is a little different, but just a little.  We have Three of Bottles in the position of What to Shed, Seven of Bottles in the position of What to Sit With, & Three of Feathers in the Position of What to Grow.  & then we have Orange Calcite, on top, giving their love to everything everywhere!
 
I hope, too, that these words bring you healing & clarity.  Thank you to everyone who writes me to share how this work is being woven into their lives, it means so much to me.  As do your donations.  Please consider offering a few dollars my way, or even scheduling a reading, because my day job is off this week for spring break, & that’s a whole quarter of my income right before rent is due.  For more info on my rates & specials for this week, you can find them here.
 
Sending all my heart woo!
 
xo
Lettie    

I’d really love to receive $100 for my creative efforts & healing channeling today in the form of this post.  These babies take over 10 hours, so really that's $10/hr, & I bet 10 of you lovelies can muster $10.  Please support femme labor, your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference!  My Paypal is lettie.laughter@gmail.com.  Your donations do things like help me buy food & pay for transportation, so thank you so much!  

Scarcity makes you believe that it will never be that good again, or that sweet thing that happened can never be replicated, or things are good enough so why want for more.  Three comes right before four, four is representative of stability, & although three can be enough, it is not the resting place for you.
 
Three of Bottles is about the joy of chosen family, the ones who celebrate with you & the ones who hold you when you need some grounding.  I don’t think this card is saying to let go of your beloveds, per se, but more of a prompting to add more to the mix!  This past week I got to meet my Trauma Brain face to face, & although it was difficult, it was enlightening.  I was not aware of how much my trauma informs my expectations for my life, & that I am overworking myself to predict what harm might be coming down the line.  Trauma Brain can also work against me, convincing me to squash new begnnings before any kind of seed has had a chance to sprout.  Like, my Trauma Brain is like, “Oh, you planted a new seed?  Lemme see…yup, just what I thought.  It’s not working, it’s not gonna grow.  Take it out.  We gotta conserve our energies for shit that’s gonna grow.”  & like, yeah, my Trauma Brain has kept me alive, & for that I am so grateful, but we have worked SO HARD to make & remake a new life, & I gotta trust that I can do things differently now.
 
All this is to say, you can continue to grow your love, your chosen family, your friends, your community, your support.  There’s a lot of excited YES’s happening right now.

Seven of Bottles shows you that there is something you are not aware of, & that you carry the key piece to understanding a situation within you.  Whether that means that your intuition is key, that that seemingly random piece of info you have is key, or something rising up in you is the key. 
 
One thing that comes strongly to mind is diving deep into yourself, destination your shame.  It’s not as hurty as when you quarantined that area off from the rest of you, the healing you’ve been doing in other parts of your life have also made it’s way here.  The way you understood your experience before needs to be revisited because you have changed, & you can explore this place with a new heart.  Maybe even a stronger one.  Maybe, compassion is the missing piece for your puzzle.
 
Trauma Brain can distort shit, & perhaps the way you understood things before was because Trauma Brain was translating.  I don’t think this is like you were lyng to yourself, but important nuances were lost in the scuffle of it all.  & that’s what shame does, it takes whole gulps of we are with no reverence of what we were willing to part with, whole gulps of body & heart & reason.  If you can, if it feels like the thing to do, dive back into those caverns you were too afraid to explore before & take back your body, your heart, your peace of mind.  My bed is that the shame is like the monster under the bed, disappearing once the lights come on, once the sun comes out.  You get to heal this place, too. 

There’s a Mary Oliver verse that I come back to again & again because it reminds me that I am ok, “You do not have to be god.  You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.  You only have to let the soft animal of your body loves what it loves.”  That is what I feel like Three of Feathers is wanting you to know today. 
 
Sometimes I feel unsure that this writing is doing anyone any good, or I begin to doubt that I’m getting these messages correctly because I’m always kinda harping on the same subjects: healing, wanting, gentleness, hunger, fulfillment.  But then I remember how often this world tells us that we are wrong, that what we want is unattainable & we should probably just settle & get life over with, & that maybe my messages of follow your heart & “let the soft animal of your body loves what it loves” need to be said weekly, in as many ways as humanly possible. 
 
I want you to come again to the things that light you up, to the gifts that open you up, & to the love that fills you up.  One of the goals of this card is to be able to directly channel your own heart, though not necessarily onto a page, but certainly into the book of your life.  This is a skill that is hard earned because your mind, especially the Trauma Brain, is going to want to make sense of what it is your heart is communicating, & you’re gonna have to figure out how to calm your mind, & the Trauma Brain, while channeling.  Maybe even some day we can retire Trauma Brain to a nice cabin in the woods where they can commune with nature & Spirit & rivers all day.  Or  maybe your Trauma Brain has always wanted to go to space, & out there they can have the deepest convo ever with Pluto.  Or maybe they will retire in something similar to what I call The House of Lettie’s. 
 
The House of Lettie’s is a magical place where only I reside.  It is a house filled with all the selves of me—baby Lettie, child Lettie, tween Lettie with the too sad mom, I wanna die every day teenage Lettie, drunk & hurting Lettie, bewildered new mom Lettie—the list is long & beautiful.  Anyways, whenever I uncover a new part of me that hurts a lot & feels like this world isn’t safe enough, I close my eyes & envision this house, knock on the door, & usher them inside.  Ooops, I forgot to tell you about one other Lettie that’s important to differentiate from the others, my grandma Lettie is also there.  She has a room with a rocking chair & when we go into that room, I am able to crawl onto her lap while she rocks me & sings & mostly I cry.
 
There are other rooms, too.  I have one where I can break anything, a room that has the brightest Milky Way (god, I love the Milky Way, especially when witnessed from the middle of deserts or mountains or plains.) & a stream to sit by, a room where cooking is always happening, a room for sleeping in the biggest, softest, most supportive bed, & this list, too, does go one.
 
How did I get here on this topic?  Where was I going with this…oh yeah!  Do what you gotta do to “let the soft animal of your body loves what it loves,” & keep at it until you are able to gift yourself the compassion you were in need of.    Hold on, we’ve got one more card to get to.  Orange Calcite.

The theme for this Spring is Orange Calcite.  Being the Equinox & such, I decided to draw a card from the Visions: crystal oracle deck (I love it, a lot.), & Orange Calcite showed up!  Even though I am just now bringing it up, I have been consulting with it the whole time.  I’m just gonna relay the info from the very informative booklet that comes with it because Jessika Fancy did such a beautiful job with this deck:

Spring is here, babes!  We officially made it through Winter, & whether or not you live somewhere where it snows, all of our days got shorter & nature led us (gently & not so gently at times) into the places within us that needed our attention.  You did so good (though you certainly don't have to be) & I trust that you will continue to do your work to the best of your ability.  Spring, sprang, sprung.  

Hi Lovelies,
Just in time for the Spring Equinox I’ve got a whole week open for scheduling readings, aka day job is on Spring Break!  & to commemorate the days of light & warm rain storms with thunder that cracks in your chest, I want to tell you about some new things happening here at High Moon Femme.

Did you know that I am learning astrology?  I am!  I am learning how to read charts, & I currently offer astrological elements to my mediumship tarot readings.  For example, if you’re approaching your Saturn Return or you noticed that all your planets are in your 8th house or Pluto is touching all the planets or all your outer planets are retrograde, I can totally take a look at your planetary activity!  When I do readings with an astrological understanding I can help provide understanding about your chart & how events are connected & how they are playing out.  & because it’s your reading, we can then discuss what your plan of action can be!
 
Any readings scheduled the week of March 20-26 will come with a complimentary astrological interpretation!  All I need is your birth information (month/day/year, time & location of birth) so I can read & research your chart in relation to your question(s) for your reading. 

 My day job is taking the week off for Spring Break, which means I can focus on this work for a whole week!  Know that all your trust & faith in my work means so much to me, so do the emails & kind words.  I'm also into being fed in other ways, like doing readings & getting paid!  The readings you schedule will help me pay rent, bills, get groceries, & CELEBRATE PANDA's 11th BIRTHDAY!  Everybody wins when you schedule or order a reading!  

I hope to read with/for you soon!  

Unendingly abundant,
​Lettie

Deer Tender Heart,
This week’s reading feels like powerful magic.  Maybe it’s because spring is just around the corner.  Maybe it’s the high energies that reside between the eclipses.  Maybe it’s the waxing moon.  Maybe it’s simply time for magic shit to happen. 
 
I sit here writing you missing that one hour we lost to the time change, eggs soft frying on the stove, potatoes in the oven, & my favorite sourdough waiting patiently for their toasting to commence.  Panda is upstairs still asleep because I want this time with you to write.  & it’s raining.  & today is the birthday of someone I loved deerly who broke my heart.  & I’ve been in Philly for 5 months now, & I’m starting to feel hopeful & my depression hasn’t been bad for a little while now.  & I think this is what healing feels like.
 
I come to you today with these offerings, hoping that you are healing, too, that you are finding ways to trust that heart of yours.  I hope, too, that when your spirit itches for new things you thought had already passed, that you chance them anyways.  I hope for you a life that loves you back, cherishes you back, & asks you the best questions you always think to ask others but that they don’t always reciprocate.
 
Sending my best heart woo, love.
 
xo
Lettie

I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & healing channeling today in the form of this post.  Please support femme labor, your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference!  My Paypal is lettie.laughter@gmail.com.  Your donations do things like help me buy food & pay for transportation, so thank you so much!  

​Skulls in the Collectve Tarot deck are always the Ancestors showing up to be like, Hey!  & this card is like, Hey, hey hey!!!  Why are they showing up so strong for you right now?  They want you to know that they support you magic, your power, & that they are always holding the vision of your softest, happiest, most deeply rooted self.  They know the satiated you, the one so full your hands become instruments of fecundity, & if you are in search of your way back to this self, they are here to help.
 
We all are always connected, as the candle burning brightly atop the skull indicates, & the rings of light emanating are also visible representations of how that connection reverberates outward, only strengthening said connection.  If you were thinking about or felt called to do some femmeifesting in your life, this would be a good time to do it.  Creative projects will also be inspired! 

I don’t know what the weather is doing where you are, but here in Philly this past week we got a long taste of summer, not even spring—summer!—so, I just wanna let you know that life is coming back.  The undertow of winter is gonna spit you out!  That also means whatever was brewing in that undertow for you can now breathe on its own, you can let it grow into whatever promises the two of you made.

This card itches with life today.  Sometimes it holds more of an, Ok, here we go again! energy, but not today.  The Fool is the first card of the major arcana, & brings all of the wisdom from having just finished everything up with the proceeding World card.  The Fool wants to inspire you to get ready for the Spring Equinox that is just around the corner, because the trees & flowers & baby animals are not gonna be the only beings coming back to life!
 
The Fool wants to breathe fresh air into your lungs, wants to wake you up before the sun so you can watch the moon melt into the sun, wants to help you restart that one project that’s been biting at your fingertips all winter.  Let the Fool work their magic for you.  Let yourself come back.
 

Imagine that you were hungry one day, & you wanted that One Thing you used to eat, but you can’t remember how it was prepared.  You call your mom, auntie, dad, someone frm your family of origin for the recipe, someone you love & trust to whatever degree, & then you go home to make that One Thing.  It looks good, but when you taste it, something is off.  So you follow the recipe again, because it must be you (not the recipe), & try it again, & it really does taste like shit.  Wtf?  Now you examine that recipe with your critical thinking skills, & notice that certain ingredients don’t belong in there, or at least you wouldn’t have added them.

 Here is where you can do a couple of different things that will yield different results: You can call up whoever gave you this recipe & you can be like, “Wtf is that recipe you gave me?” & they’ll probably get defensive because defensive.  Or you can follow your own intuition & add a little of this, take away some of that, & there—that’s better!  Now it tastes like Your Thing & not that One Thing.  This recipe is now yours.
 
The recipe isn’t just about a dish (though you are, completely!), it’s about love—how to get it, how to keep it, how to get it back, how to act, what kind of behaviors are acceptable.  It’s about life—how to be happy, how much to give, when to ask for help, how to make everyone believe everything’s ok!  It’s about Your Life, sweet one, & how sometimes even when we’re living our own lives, we’re acting on old recipes that aren’t doing shit for us.  Heal those recipes, love.  Heal them because you need them, & heal them so the next time you share your dish & someone asks, “Can I get your recipe?” you know exactly what you’re handing over.

I'm so happy & excited that so many of you are sharing & reading the work I am creating!  I'd also really like to receive some $$ if you got it!  Know that $5 goes real far in my life.   ​​​

i am falling in love with ones who are also falling in love with me.
i attract the most compatible femmes this femmeiverse has to offer.
i am always whole, intact, & loud.
i feel loved & adored.
i receive love letters & crush art from ones i am also sending love letters & crush art to.
my vulnerability is my compass.
i am dating folks who have done their work, who are doing their work, & who are continuing to do their work.
i know i am crushing out on cuties who are also crushing out on me.
i hold myself as center.
i release everyone & everything that does not celebrate me as perfect & necessary.
i move with confidence & joy in the direction of myself, my dreams, my desires, & my being.
i feel desired in ways that empower & heal me.
i fall in love with sweeties who want all that i want to give.
my ancestors bring me relationships with babes who are ready for what is coming next in my life.
my self-awareness, self-love, & femmetastic selfies are reflected back to me in my –ships.
i experience sustainability.
i experience excitement.
i experience great communication & consideration.
i am having the dirtiest, sweetest adventure this femmeiverse has ever witnessed.

​
*Inspired  by Badass Resilience: Black and Brown Femme Survivor Love and Desire Affirmations
By Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha and Keisha Williams.  You can read more about when I was first introduced to this life saving work by these femmes here. 

I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & the healing channeled today in the form of this post.  Please support femme labor, your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference!  My Paypal is lettie.laughter@gmail.com.  Your donations do things like help me buy food & pay for transit token, so thank you so much!  

Vulnerability As My Compass: Affirmations for Bringing Springtime Back to the Body is a project centering my process of trusting my vulnerability & following its instructional nudges to the best of my ability so I can bring life & warmth back to my body.  As a queer brown femme with chronic illnesses trying to work out my scarcity & poverty shit with a baby panda femme along for this wild ride called My Life, processing all the grief has left me a little more than overwhelmed & in need of fresh life for a while now.  I carry & process so much grief, thanks in part to all the Pluto in my birth chart, that it feels like death eating is all I ever do & all I’ll ever be good at.  But a few years ago I realized that I can death eat with the purpose of bringing life, bringing springtime back to my blessed & holy body.  I know a lot of my purpose here is to mend the loose ends & call people home within my own lineage, but part of my work is to bring warmth, joy, pleasure back to the body.  I can’t do anything for anyone else, per se, but I can do it for myself & share my process.  That’s kinda what this is. 
 
When I think about Springtime in the Body, I imagine checking in with seeds I planted to make sure they’ll sprout, & then getting nervous that they won’t & wondering what I did wrong, so I pray & ask for miracles & try to keep up my end of things, & then just when I’ve given up, the little plant pops through, like, “What?  You thought I wouldn’t come?  But you planted me yourself, & loved me yourself!  How could I not pull through?”  It feels kinda like the weather now in Philly, where everyday I come home from work I am so grateful that the sky is still lit up with the sunset because I remember how the stars used to be out & how cold some of those nights were while waiting for the bus.  Spring, that time where hope is everywhere, is coming.  Maybe when we turn around, it’ll be here already. 

It has taken me years to get here, to this point of trusting in myself, my life, the Femmeiverse, where I can share all of this with you.  I don't know why now, but I know that putting this series together was all I could think of for the past two days, so much so that I stayed up past 3am yestermorning, & woke up at 4 this morning.  & while I was at my day job yesterday, & upon waking & lying in my bed this morning, all I could ponder was, "What is going to accompany such a wish?  Such a declaration?  Is a something even needed?"  But I can't imagine not saying something.  So here I am, saying something.

Reading over my affirmations I recognize that I wrote it about my romantic life, or what I hope can be my romantic life, & that there are other deeper threads of claiming myself & my desires.  Desires exist in all the places in my life, & following their lead is always such a struggle, but I am here to surrender my way through.  I am 32-years-old, & I've largely spent my life pretending I do not want anything, or that thing I had wasn't that important, & on & on the minimizations go.  I want to remember back to now & smile & say, "Thank you Past Lettie for trusting me," & use it as evidence that I do get to have what I want, that these desires won't live & die inside a body riddled with an endless winter.  I have too much water happening to be playing with a season like Winter like that.  It is all too possible.  I wanna use all this water for nourishing & gently shaping & playing & soaking.    

It is scary to have my desires laid bare, but I have to tell you more than afraid, I am hopeful.  I don't know if you remember my post Leo Full Moon in the Victory of Your Own Making, but I gotta share with you that some of that brave shit I asked for has come to pass or is coming to pass very soon.  To ask for what I want, to choose some kind of alternative to the scarcity that has woven its way into my every breath, is like breaking a curse.  In stories where seemingly unbreakable curses are cast, love seems to be the only force powerful enough to dissolve it.  I think that's what this is, Deer One.  This is me casting a love spell of sorts to break the curses that've shaped so much of my life.  

I want more love.

I deserve more love.

I am receiving more love.

I am committing (yikes!) to a series based on these affirmations as love spells for myself, & I would love it if you wanted to journey along with me!  I'll be posting more day to day things on my facebook, instagram, twitter, & tumblr accounts, & will write more at length here on my blog.  I'm gonna be marking my way through with #vulnerabilityasmycompass, & if you have anything you wanna share or add to the conversation, please tag me or use #highmoonfemme & #vulnerabilityasmycompass.  I would love the company!

So many blessings & deep freeze thaws & signs from the Femmeiverse to you, to me, to us!  

I'm so happy & excited that so many of you are sharing & reading the work I am creating!  I'd also really like to receive some $$ if you got it!  Know that $5 goes real far in my life.   ​​​

​Deer Sweet One,
While prepping myself to write whatever it is I’m supposed to write tonight, I came across a document I have saved titled, “-ship affirmations jan 2014.”  So I opened it, read it, remembered writing it, laughed at the time travel of it at all, then promptly took a nap.  Before I share some of the gems with you from said document, I wanna cite the femme brilliance of Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha & Keisha Williams who created “Badass Resilience: Black and Brown Femme Survivor Love and Desire Affirmations” as inspiration.  I was first introduced to this beautiful piece of writing & affirmation in a  came across their healing words in a workshop co-presented by Leah & Keisha, & I it was so perfectly perfect.  I was thrilled to see Leah post it on her blog, & then to find it published in Dear Sister in 2014.  I invite you to take a read for yourself!

I remember sitting in that workshop listening to this list for the first time & feeling in awe that this is shit I could actually have in my life.  I was like, WHAT?!?  How come nobody told me?!?  But I was being told, by these two femme babe geniuses.  A year & a half later I wrote my own affirmations.  Although I don’t remember the day I wrote this, I do know that in January of 2014 I was residing in an old nunnery affectionately named the Baberation & I was being stalked by my super abusive ex while trying to finish my last two semesters of college.  I remember I was nursing a broken heart because sometimes trauma makes loving each other hard, & I was exhausted from living in a super white city where I had to teach everyone how to love me.  I tried femmeifesting love in that city for almost 18 years, & I have only recently left with a few precious seeds in my pocket while still dreaming of fields bursting with wild flowers.  I wrote “-ship affirmations jan, 2014” because I knew that field was somewhere out there:
 
​-ship affirmations jan. 2014, aka Vulnerability As My Compass: Affirmations for Bringing Springtime Back to the Body
 
i feel loved & adored.
i hold myself as center.
i release everyone & everything that does not celebrate me as perfect & necessary.
i move with confidence & joy in the direction of myself, my dreams, my desires, & my being.
i feel desired in ways that empower & heal me.
i fall in love with sweeties who want all that i want to give.
i experience sustainability.
i experience excitement.
i experience great communication & consideration.
i am having the dirtiest, sweetest adventure this femmeiverse has ever witnessed.

​You can find the affirmations themselves here, too.
 
Love, I am writing to you from a place that might be a field, & all I can tell you is that the ground beneath me is itching with life.  I can feel it shifting beneath my feet.  I cant' say for sure that it's because I moved over 2,000 miles away from the city I spent over half my life, &  I’m not saying that you gotta move across the country, too, but what I am saying is that some movement will be required.  

​Deer One, I’m not trying to tell you you aren’t doing enough, I know I felt endlessly frustrated at my thwarted efforts when trying to plan precious seeds & nourish them to bloom, but I think that’s why these cards are saying to give this one more go.  I don't know that one more try will be the thing that changes everything, but I do know that I had to do so so many little things that I hoped would change everything, that often felt like nothing, & somewhere along the way they added up.  & here I am, telling you this long & winding story on a Sunday night in a city where I can't help but swell from time to time.  No matter how difficult this transition has been, it is not as bad as where I came from.

I also wanna tell you that this week's post feels so vulnerable, to peel back the curtains on things I hope for feels kinda like breaking teeth.  I hate to want for things I historically have been unable to have, & this is no exception.  But the messages came through so clear that I scoffed & threw a mini fit  while my roommate laughed supportingly, I huffed all the way to the store for dinner fixings, & all the way back.  In the end, I surrender.  I'm gonna trust their advice & plant this precious seed, too.

This Tuesday is the New Moon in Pisces with the first half, the solar half, of eclipse season.  I’ll write more on that specifically (hopefully) by Tuesday, & for now, I offer you this week's tarot reading with these three cards: Eight of Keys & Eight of Bones from the Collective Tarot, & Orange Calcite from the Visions: a crystal oracle deck.  I hope these cards & my words & the messages coming through will help you work some kinda magic in your life.  You deserve it.  We always have.

Unendingly Abundant,
​Lettie 

I’d really love to receive $50-$100 for my creative efforts & healing channeling today in the form of this post.  Please support femme labor, your energy exchange of $1-$50 makes all the difference!  My Paypal is lettie.laughter@gmail.com.  Your donations do things like help me buy food & pay for transit token, so thank you so much!  

Today we are going to focus on the pep talk the Caterpillar You gave yourself as you were struggling through your lessons one more time, lessons you may have believed had been laid to rest.  I imagine that there was probably some self talking happening with the Caterpillar You while you were struggling to emerge from those lessons one more time, & I imagine that they were some kinda promise.  Something like, “If you keep pushing, I promise that we’re not gonna go back.  If you get out of bed & do that thing, I promise that it will lead to the next thing & the next thing, & before you know it we will smile again, & then living that life we always wanted!  If you keep pushing, we get to have the good shit, love.  The good shit you were too afraid to ask for but that the Femmeiverse knows has always been & will alays be yours!  You just gotta get through this thing one more time.  I know you’re tired, & this is shit you’ve done before, but one more time & we’re done!  Again!”  I don’t imagine pep talk fail like “If you get through this we get more of the same old shit!  Yay!  Nothing is gonna be changed!” was your motivation. 
 
So I want you to tap into & remember what brave promises you made to yourself to keep going!  You’re out now, deer one, & it’s time to make good with your word.

This stone is all about bringing healing back to those real tender parts of you, the ones still receiving fresh blood & soft massages.  When you can be kind & generous with those hurty parts of you, you are setting the standard for how the most vulnerable parts of you are treated, which means that all the rest of you gets to receive the same consideration.  The results of this kind of unconditional self-love are an increase in self-esteem & self-confidence, & which can lead to things the card encourages like, “buy yourself some flowers,  start that project you’ve been putting off or tell that person you’ve been crushing on that you like them.”  Perhaps these are even the kinds of promises you’re gonna make good on with yourself.  What better way to re-enter your life?

I lost the book of interpretations for this deck a long time ago, but one of the things I do remember from that booklet is that is is the “Go, go, go!” card.  What does “Go, go, go!” mean?  Good question.
 
The fact that each of the cards are the Eight of their suits means that they’re syncing up in the messages they are bringing you, adding extra umph.  Eight of Keys has everything to do with going toward the things that bring you warmth & keeps your fires healthy because these are the very sources of heat that forge a new you.  Please don’t worry, those fireworks in the sky booming their way through your body is the Femmeiverse giving you the sweetest send off!  You have everything you need, any further “preparation” is only stalling at this point.  Trust that you don't need to pack anything else.  Everything else you will need will be provided along the way!
 
Now, go go go! in the direction of those fields of promise, those fires that renew.  Onward to the life you promised yourself when you wanted to stop trying!

I'm so happy & excited that so many of you are sharing & reading the work I am creating!  I'd also really like to receive some $$ if you got it!  Know that $5 goes real far in my life.   ​​​

Hi Lovelies!
It is now​ mid week, so I'll keep it sweet & simple.  This week’s elements & themes are: Two of Bottles, Cactus Quartz, & Five of Bones, aka Those Falling in Love Feels, Ancestral Healing, & Purification.  Spring is officially in the air & in our bones!
 
Two of Bottles
Whenever anyone schedules a reading with me & their inquiries are in the realm of love & romance, it is common for there to be a sense of hesitation or downplay of vested interest.  This has everything to do with vulnerability & how we’ve been taught, especially as babes hailing from the blessed margins, that there are More Important Things.  But Matters of the Heart are always important.  
 
Two of Bottles is all about sweetness & connection & allowing those Fall in Love Feels to roam about in your body & spirit.  This doesn’t have to be specific to a situation, but allowing such a seed to begin growing is miraculous.  Nobody gets through this life without a heartbreak or slew, & each time you decide to get back on the proverbial horse of Dare to Fall in Love, it is because you’ve decided to trust yourself.  Again.  This is Hope knocking on your door. 
 
Cactus Quartz
The fact that this card was drawn right after Two of Bottles is a continuation of the narrative of healing the soil in which your hopes & dreams are bring planted.  We first learn about love, life, & relationships most often within families of origin, & sometimes it takes more than a while to unlearn those lessons.  Cactus Quartz wants to highlight the connection between inherited unresolved traumas within your belief systems about love (how to give it, how to keep it, how to receive it, how to show it, & why/why not you deserve it, for example), & that now is the time to do some healing work about it.
 
Pay attention to whatever things are bubbling up for you as you read this right now…or take a deep breathe & ask yourself where your healing attention can be applied--that’s where your Spring is coming back.  If any of this feels overwhelming or like too much, know that ancestral healing always comes with it’s own support systems, your ancestors themselves.  They’re not gonna leave you to figure out things on your own.  All you gotta do is pray or ask them for help.  Do some candle magic, buy your altar some fresh flowers, talk to them the next time you’re sitting in the gentle caresses of Spring-is-around-the-corner sunbeams, or start generating gratitude lists so they know what you like.
 
Five of Bones
This is where the work comes into play.  Five of Bones is all about releasing, letting shit go, & surrendering to the process.  Often this card can be about lack, scarcity, & the opposites of abundance, but that is not the whole message.  The image is of a skeleton hand holding sand that is falling through the grip.  The harder this hand tries to hold on, the faster the sand falls through, which means that even if you want off this ride, it has now taken on a life of it's own.  The best thing to do is ground yourself, & keep clearing your energies!    

The Ancestors are coming through with this card to make sure that you let go of the crumbs you've been clinging to because it was all you thought you could have.  There is a bounty on the way that even these skeleton hands can hold, a bounty that won't slip through, a bounty that you can share if you choose to do so, a bounty you've always kinda hoped would come, & a bounty that is already yours!  Let the last of those teeny tiny grains fall through your hands, then dust them off, turn your sweet face to the sun, & get ready to hold more than air.

Sending your seedlings so much love,
​Lettie

I'm so happy & excited that so many of you are sharing & reading the work I am creating!  I'd also really like to receive some $$ if you got it!  Know that $5 goes real far in my life.   ​​