​Hearts Still Beating,
Not gonna lie, I’ve never started out a reading with The Two of Bottles.  It feels kinda intimidating because this card is my romance card, more so than the Lovers card ever is.  I even thought about shuffling again & drawing new cards so I wouldn’t have to contend with possibly misrepresenting the Two of Bottles, contend with readers who are like, “What the fuck?  Lettie is a liar!” but the more I sat with this card, the more I understood what messages it wants to bring.  One day, one sleep, & one morning later, I am ready to convey the blessed shit Two of Bottles has to say.
Babe in service of the Femmeiverse,
Lettie

I’ve been sick this week, & way behind on all the things.  I have a variety of chronic illnesses, & as a disabled fat brown femme, sometimes my internalized ableism still gets to me.  I’ve done a lot of surviving by “pushing through it.”  It can be anything from severe ptsd to not being able to breathe because of asthma to ignoring a flare of sciatica in my body as I walk the first half mile to the trolley stop, knowing there’s another half mile waiting for me once I get off.  I knew the New Moon was this week, & I had all these plans (even wrote it in my planner!) so I wouldn’t be last minute writing, but I was just too sick to do it all.  I really just want to share this part of my experience, the disabled & crazy parts of me, to gift myself space to take up so I can counteract how my survival so often dictates, “Smaller, Lettie, make yourself smaller.”  Deep breath.
 ​

This week's Check in With You card choosing set up is correlating with the New Moon.  You know how this goes:

1. Grounding can be real simple.  All it means is being aware of your breath & energy & calling it back to you.  Sometimes when someone worries or is thinking of all the things, their energy is sent out & about.  This can cause confusion & lack of clarity.  To ground for this exercise, you can sit or stand & start noticing your breath.  Slowly begin to take deeper, slower breaths.  You can relax & close your eyes if that feels ok for you.  Now, send your energy through your body & into the ground beneath you.  The Earth can totally hold whatever you are sending.Think or feel about your question // situation
2. Pick card 1 or card 2
   If you have a clear question for the cards, great!  If you don't, that's great, too!  If you can't bring forth a concise question, just hold onto the feelings about your inquiry.  Breathe with that intention.  The Femmeiverse knows all the details.Scroll down to read about the card you picked.  Now pick a card.  I trust you know which one is yours.  

Scarcity is something that I am working to heal all the time.  I came across these cards at the end of my session with the Money Witch.  I received a text with the image of one of the Money Magic Manifestation cards, & I liked it a lot.
 
A few weeks ago, I was able to get my own baby deck of Money Magic Manifestation cards (they fit in the palm of my hand), & within the last week I’ve started working with them.  It has been  really hard because every time I draw a card, I immediately start pushing back.  This is my scarcity talking, yelling, whatever.  But when I pulled I am blessed with unending abundance, & decided to journal about it, it some how felt accessible. 

 I shifted the way I thought about it from bank account amount to ideas & inspiration, & that is when I was able to connect to that feeling of unending abundance.  If I have and unending anything, it is words & ideas.  Some things I came up were weekly writing offerings, like this one, Femmeifesting Heart Things, & Femmes to the Front Fridays.  

I am also rich with poems about everything from zombies & vampires as metaphors for unworked, untouched intergenerational trauma to the freshest, sweetest femme love poems about the desert my heart belongs to.  I have a plethora of femmeily who love me by feeding me from their own abundance, bringing groceries by, offering to be my Emergency Contact, who have walked me to my front door when my day has spiked with violence, & femmes who share their magical femmeifesting ways.  & last, but certainly not least, I have the love & trust of a Panda Femme kiddo who shows me what is possible every time they forgive without duress, who calls my name to make sure I am close by because they know that I am here for them, & who knows my heart in ways that baffle me & keep me soft.

This makes me think about what it means to "[a]sk for [a life I] couldn't fathom living without," to give myself my everything, energy, effort, praise, & favor in hopes that I, too, get to receive unimaginably good things.  So, this is me doing the things, connecting & believing with what is unendingly abundant in my life right now.  This is my beginning.

Unendingly abundant,
​Lettie      

BECAUSE MY LIFE IS A QUEER BROWN FEMME LOVE LETTER.
BECAUSE FEMMES HAVE KEPT ME ALIVE.
BECAUSE FEMMES HAVE HEALED ME.
BECAUSE WE ARE OFTEN UNDERSERVED.
BECAUSE WE ARE OVERWORKED.
BECAUSE WE NEED MORE SUPPORT.
BECAUSE WE DESERVE HEALING, TOO.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT FEMMES, & YOU DON'T EITHER.

Deerest Femmes,
You can schedule a reading for yourself & other femmeily members on any Friday at this discounted price!  Just go here, & pick a Friday date, & click on Femmes to the Front Fridays! I can't wait to meet you  & work with all your brilliance & softness.
xoxo
Lettie

1. Nine of Bones:  This card is asking you to bring you energy in a bit.  This backbone tree trunk is about having a strong inner core, & the need to nourish or start there.  If you've spread yourself real thin lately, bring it back so you can make some big things happen.  I mean, especially before a big project, spend ample time grounding, sending your energy down first to connect with a source bigger than you & me so that that channel can support you.  
2. Six of Bones:  This is the "Sweet Success"card.  If you ever needed a sign that this endeavor was gonna pull through how you need it to, this is it.  The fox on this card is relaxing outside their den, their home, having jumped through all the hoops, completed all the tricks, & whatever else felt unnecessary & totally necessary, & they got what they wanted.  & so will you.
3. The Moon:  The Moon is on your side.  The power of the Moon is not as pronounced as the Sun, but that's because patriarchal reasoning has told us so.  The power of the Moon is subtle but all encompassing & is planning to turn the tide in your favor.  Your only task is to trust that when an opportunity presents itself to you, it is in fact yours.  Hop on board.  Bring your snacks.  Chart your path.  & the same Moon that pulls the tides in will turn in in your favor.

Good luck!  I know you are doing it because you are here!  
xoxo
Lettie

This week I am still trying out formats for how I want weekly offerings to work.  This week I am drawing three cards to talk about the week, & will do a Tarot Tuesday for a draw your own card kinda thing.  Let's get to it.

Immediately I can recognize a relationship between the first two cards that indicate a significant change because they involve opening the heart with a hard earned key & opening up said heart because you know it's a treasure chest that houses something you are excited about.  Yes, the Femmeiverse knows about that.  & then there's a dramatic shift of daydream water energy to counter the intensity of heat, but still utilizing the powerful momentum.  

The Two of Keys & Ace of Keys are both cards from the Fire Suit & carry the power of slow burning fires with a life of their own. ​

Lettie Laughter has over 10 years experience reading tarot.  To book your own magical 60 or 90 minute tarot reading with them, go here.  You can also take a one-on-one tarot class, tailored just for you, with Lettie.  For more information on how to save your spot in this first time ever opportunity, go here.  ​

seeking clarity & healing? connecting with your Ancestors in one of my tarot readings can do that!
“Lettie’s reading was so very heart warming, a lot of what they revealed to me validated a lot of things I’d suspected and hoped for as a result of the way things have been unfolding in my life. As someone who’s never had their cards read I was moved and amazed by all Lettie had to say that touched upon such personal truths. Having them read by Lettie reassured and reaffirmed a lot of things I’ve been trying to navigate.” 
–S.E. North Carolina.

schedule here!

All the blues & greens & turquoise & indigo colors are related to the heart, the throat or voice, & intuition.  As I was makeupping today, I thought about what trusting my intuition & making a decision based on it feels like. I think the hardest part is believing that my intuitive guidance will be affirmed once I start acting on it.  This process involves trusting my decision making skills as well as my intuition. 

‪When your heart & intuition are working together, their energies meet in your throat. The combination of these balances helps you communicate clearly & deliberately, & then you are able to move forward in your life with confidence. When there is discord or resistance in trusting one of these energy centers, moving forward can become difficult.  I like affirmations, so one I've come up with to support balance & harmony is: 
I trust my decision making skills, & release internalized shit that's taught me not to. 
​I forgive myself for holding onto those beliefs.
​
For more femme magics, visitwww.highmoonfemmetarot.com!

Six months ago when I started reading tarot more professionally, I told myself that I would adapt to growth & change as they occur, that I don’t have to know what to do before I do, & that I can follow what feels good in my heart.  My new website, www.highmoonfemme.com, is the culmination of what I’ve learned about my practice these past six months, a place where I’m hoping to house all my offerings, both tarot & writing related.  & after hanging out with a femme friend of mine yesterday, I’ve decided to challenge my practice to include weekly tarot readings of sorts.  May I introduce you to Weekly Tarot for the week of 11/22-11/28.
 
The idea, & I may change it if something else feels more natural or intuitive, is that I’ll draw a card from the Major Arcana for a weekly theme, & then three additional cards who’s face you cannot see initially.  Through out the week if you’re needing some guidance, you can visit this post, pick a card with correlating stone, then scroll down to see the face you chose, & from there you can read what the individual card has to say about your question.  This process is intended to convey a sense of you choosing your own card amongst three.  

XO Lettie  

This card has come up a lot in the past few weeks, & I can only surmise this is because there is a Femmeiversal process happening of a kind of collective softening, especially with is coming us as I drew a theme card for this week for all you lovely hearts.  What does softness & this Strength card have to do with one another, you ask?  Let's go there.

It is easy to conflate being strong with the ability to push through the hard times, whether its because we have finals for classes, moving across the country with not enough anything, or the daily trying to surviving a shitty job / living situation / community / relationship.  & while those acts of survival & thrival require strength, undoubtedly, this card is asking you consider another kind of strength in your toolbox of skills.  

The Strength card wants to bring your awareness to the internal & emotional strength of coming back to your body & taking inventory of resources, capacity, desires, dreams, needs, & boundaries once you've survived things that required you to activate your super powers.  To become quiet & still & ask yourself the questions that bring real answers that take you where you want to go.  It's about vulnerability & not continuing to hurt ourselves in the ways others do.  It's about letting down those walls that protect  long enough to let some fresh air & starlight in.  Perhaps you can even lower the bridges long enough to invite a friend of the heart over for an afternoon.  

Don't you dare tell me that these endeavors do not require strength.  Don't you dare tempt the fates.  Instead, surrender, & meet yourself exactly where you are.  Take a breath, & then another.  You are here. 

If you've come here seeking clarity, you've come to the right place.  All you need to do is think of your question or situation, take a few deep breaths, then choose the card that you feel drawn to immediately.  You can trust yourself.

Now scroll down to the card you chose to learn what it wants to share with you!

The Accountability card is also known as the Justice card.  This card holds a lot, & it is important to take note of your own definitions of Accountability & Justice.  Do you believe that the state can bring such things to you when you have been harmed?  Or do you realize that other avenues will be required to bring peace & a sense of safety back?  It is well documented that the state hardly, if ever, offers solutions for violence & harm that do not perpetuate violence & harm.  This is why it is important that you take time to figure what you need, what you want, & how to get those things.

I've personally sought comfort & peace of mind in Divine Justice, a Justice that I've come to understand on my own terms, in my own time, & though it is not as swift (or, admittedly, as severe) as I'd like, it brings me back into balance.  Once, when I wanted revenge to right a severe wrong, someone I trusted told me that that person would get theirs, that what goes around comes around, & to trust that the natural order of such things will take care of it.  This grave injustice would not go unnoticed by the gods & goddesses, but I cannot witness the righting.  "It'll be messy, & if you were too close, that shit would splash on you.  & baby, you've been through enough.  You don't need to deal with the repercussions of that.  I know you want to see, but you can't with out consequences."  This is not always the case, but it was for me, & off I set on a journey to find something else that could hold all these pieces.  Divine Justice. ​

The Mentor of Bones is an omen of sorts, brought to your from your Ancestors to tell you that the time of fight-for-every-breath survival is done.  It will not be this hard again, not this last row.  It also honors the self that you've grown into, no longer afraid of the things you once were, no longer afraid of what you might unexpectedly meet in the corners of your mind & heart.  You've made peace with you.  The way this mountain lion's paws rest on the skull means that your Ancestors have always been with you, & they are with you now as you usher into a new era.  

The Mentor of Bones also wants to honor the wisdom you've cultivated from this chapter of your life called Fight For Every Breath.  You know what you are made up of.  You know how strong your fight is.  You know how the quiet can speak to you when you are completely alone.  You know how the stars guide you back when you've wandered too far, & most importantly, you know you can heal.  Your scars are so lovely, remember all that you carry.

Nine of Feathers carries messages of being gentle with your survival self, of offering the balm of compassion to your badass survival self that got you through all the things!  It also warns you not to listen to the internalized shitty lies that tell you to make yourself small, invisible, insignificant.  This bird is plucking their own feathers for many different reasons because they are stuck in their natural cycle of turning to ash to come back as the Phoenix.  Yes, this card is reflecting back to you your fiery come back from the dead nature!  Instinctually, you know that you need to collapse into ash, but something has stalled your process, ask your wise beyond your years survival self what that is?  Then trust what you are told.

The number 9 is also significant because it is a number that signifies the end-end of a cycle.  Perhaps it is time to forgive yourself for what you did not know, for what you did & did not do, for believing the ways others have pathologized your behaviors & survival to heal the cycle.  The time is now.  You're gonna be ok.  Don't be afraid.  I trust you.

ACT 1
 
morning:  two femmes are sitting on the same on opposite ends of an L-shaped couch.  one is on a laptop, the other is putting on makeup.
 
l:  do you have amazon prime?  you did when you were in college, right?
L:  yes, i did.  & yes, i do.  & no, you cannot use it.
l:  i didn’t ask.
L:  but you’re gonna.
l:  who else am i gonna ask?  c’mon i need to know if this is the dress.
L:  if it is & you don’t get it?...
l:  it won’t matter.  i’ll still--
L: —don’t say it.
l:  i have to.  i want to. 
L:  not now.  not today.
l:  it’ll be ok.  you’ll be ok!
L:  just not today.
l:  fine. not today.
 

ACT 2
 
mid day:  L is putting on makeup in their room, next to a window for natural light.  their back is to the door, & to l when they walk in.
 
l:  guess what?  my dress came!
L:  i don’t care.
l:  wanna see? 
L:  i don’t care.
l:  it’s super cute!
L:  i don’t care.
l:  can i show you?
L:  i’ll see it anyways.  isn’t it, like, bad luck to see you in it before­­--
l: —i’m not getting married.  i’m--
L: — don’t.  say it.
l:  you’re gonna know everything anyways.  you’ll understand then.  hopefully.
L:  hopefully?  hopefully?  that’s all you’ve got for me?  hopefully.  i wait my whole life for me to make sense—i pray, i cry, i surrender, i write, i cast spells & conjure & tarot, & finally i leave that fucking city, i get sick, really sick, & when i start coming back to life, i find you.  My Guardian, The One Who Knows--
l: —i know.
L:  no you don’t!
l:  but i do!  i loved you as you searched & faltered & hovered near death for years.  i loved you as you healed & conjured & opened that whale-belly-to-the-bottom-of-the-ocean heart of yours.  & i loved you the whole time, hoping you would find me, but knowing when you did, it wouldn’t last.  it can’t.  i have to die so you can do all the things we were meant to do.
L:  what if i don’t want to do “all the things we were meant to do”?  it hurts!  sure, iget it, there’s been a futility to you love, but you’ve hadtime.  i don’t get time.  it’s been so nice, being able to talk with someone, another body, having another person love me, hug me, another voice, not just my voice that says, “yeah, that’s fucked up!”  & what is it i’m supposed to do?  healing feels like a lot of fucked up shit happening & just witnessing, not stopping any of it!  i don’t want this, these feelings i don’t know what to fucking do with!  fuck you.  fuck you for loving me, & fuck you for leaving me, just like everyone always does.  get out of my room.
 

ACT 3
 
night:  l is in their room, sitting, laying tarot cards out on their bed.  candles are burning.
 
L knocks on l’s door.
 
l:  go away, please.
 
L knocks again, more forcefully.

l:  fine.
L:  i can’t stop thinking of you.
l:  let it go.
L:  but i can’t.  there has to be another way.
l:  there’s not.  this is what i’m supposed to do.  i’m not scared.  i’ll miss you, but i’m not scared.
L:  how?  tell me how you’re not scared.  help me through this last thing before you…before you die.
l:  you said it.  you let it be true. 
 
they both laugh & cry at the same time.
 
L:  what helps you smile when you know you’re leaving me?
l:  i can’t see or know very far, like, they don’t let me, but your heart does.  that beautiful heart you call a whale heart.  if you ever need me, or need instructions, dive, baby.  dive as far as you dare, then dive til you bump against the ocean bottom, & i will be there.  they won’t let me say much more because i’m already holding so much, but i can tell you it’s better than what you’ve seen or imagined.  just keep breathing, keep loving, even when nothing makes sense.  & always start with you.
L:  fuck, i knew that.
 
they both laugh.
 
l:  but you needed to hear it one last time.  or, rather, i needed to tell you one last time.
L:  so tell me, how can i help you finish getting ready?
l:  wanna see my new dress?
L:  yes!  & i totally know you used my account!
l:  it’ll help you justify keeping it!
L:  lemme me see it!  i bet it looks cuter in person!
 
l leaves to put on the dress & comes back wearing it.
 
l:  i love the drama of black lace, & it was half off!
L:  shoes?
l:  bare feet.
L:  pedicure?
l:  fuck yes.
L:  color:
l:  hot pink.
L:  perfect!  i think i’ve got a bottle in my bag!  can i paint your toes?
l:  yes!  that’s exactly what i need.
 
L rummages around in their bag, but it’s so full of stuff they can’t find it immediately.
 
L:  i have so much shit in here, hold on a sec…
 
L dumps everything out onto a table with their back turned to l.
 
l:  you’re so sweet.  i love you.
L:  i love you, too. 
 
L turns around with the polish in hand & realizes l is gone.  A breeze moves through the room, & the candles & lights go out at the same time.